Young Hands Club

I felt a bit overwhelmed at the onset of making this plan. The week is more compressed than normal with Thursday and Friday reserved for the conference and a backlog of important tasks that weren’t completed last week. I shifted the frame of my mind to viewing the situation as an opportunity to strengthen my focus. There is a lot cut out for me below and I don’t how at present how feasible it is. An adjustment I’m going to make this week is to comment on the plan each day with a progress report, essentially making the daily review public. While there’s a lot cut out, I’m not going to kill myself by sacrificing sleep, exercise, etc. So, document progress and adjust the roadmap as progress is made.

1. Things my Master assigned me:

1. (4h) Draft of TMSR OS dependencies page. Gales is a primary starting point for this. (AAC) Deadline Sunday, Feb 9th.
2. Publish WoT ratings. Deadline Sunday, February 9th.
3. (5h) Work through the fabled outlines article backlog. 2.3 is for sure feasible this week. 2.4 is going to be a big one. (Time Permitting)

2. Things I want feedback on/help with

1. (8h) ((3h to draft, 5h to complete.)) Draft presentation for Feb 13-14th conference, “There is nothing new in the world apart from the history you don’t know” done Monday.

3. Anything else that takes up a significant amount of your time.

1. (5h) TMSR OS
1. At least one comment der day published upon reading/re-reading archives of The Tar Pit, BVT Trace, Krankendenken and Fixpoint.
2. (10h) JWRD : 5h of management. 5h of relationship development.
3. (4h) Junto Wednesday evening.
4. (18h) The conference is 9am-4pm each day. I’m buffering an hour of socializing Thursday evening and planning to go out Friday night with the group.
5. (10.5h) Following the forum and conversing when it’s my time. I’m planning to block off 14:00-15:30 and 19:00-20:30 UTC to properly eat and engage the logs and blogs.
6. (7h) ((30 mins in morning, 30 mins before sleep)) Daily Review/Preview to start up, wind down day.
7. (2h) Weekly review/preview. Deadline Friday February 14, 23:00 UTC ((The daily updates will help and Wednesday the bulk should be done since it’s day 5 of the week and Thursday and Friday are booked.))
8. (5h 15m) 45 minutes of exercise each morning.
9. (5h 50m) 20 min Spanish, 30 min French each morning.

Summary

Challenge myself, focus on one thing at a time, provide updates, ask questions, make adjustments, enjoy the process of finding my edge, Sed fugit interea fugit irreparabile tempus, singula dum captos circumvectamur amore..

This week I became more aware of how I tend to beat myself black and blue. One of the more glaring letdowns I had this week was, as I type this, I’ve not replied to my Master’s comments from last week’s plan and review. I think the mediocre part of me struggled with the compliment I was paid. While my review was productive and moved me in a positive direction, there was a part of me that didn’t want to accept being propelled further. This is the part that beats me up and kept me in the shadows that developed sometime in my past to help me blend in with the socialist environment I was raised in.

To celebrate the February purge and atonement, I fasted most of the week as a tactic for metabolising fatlogic. My blog is a better place for detailing my knowledge and experience, so I’ll save the details for an article there, but the high level reason I did it was because, in my experience, doing so puts one more in touch with his unexamined habits.

I used time saved from not eating, etc to learn about the hormonal factors at play when working on replacing old, presently less resourceful habits with new, more resourceful habits. I think my many pots on the stove situation combined with the lingering effects of my stay in the shadows has me dopamined out as one of the causes of dopamine release is novelty. While dopamine is more associated with short-term stimulation, serotonin is the neurotransmitter/hormone more associated with achievements that require the deferral of gratification. When working to replace a short-term, stimulus induced, dopamine releasing habit, the stress hormone cortisol is released. Rather than gritting my teeth and repressing the habit, I’m working on recognizing the situation and how it feels and developing my inner dialogue through journaling to accept the situation and see if I can laugh and relax and remind myself of my goals and opportunity I have to live out my potential. Opportunity doesn’t mean much and in fact is a cost if I don’t put the work in setting myself up to earn the wins. I understand this shift induces oxytocin to be released to counterbalance the cortisol. Oxytocin is associated with bonding so through this process I’m strengthening my bond with my core, the part that’s at my center, that the layer of mediocrity has no chance in covering and suppressing mid to long term ((My optimistic side said, “fuck it, it doesn’t stand a chance in the short term.” lol. Maybe it doesn’t, but this wasn’t developed overnight and fatlogic is real so let’s be realistic and patient and endure.)).

The other realization I had is that shame isn’t something I feel because I’m bad, let’s say. Shame is something I’m feeling because the good in me is recognizing I’m not living up to my potential. If I’m feeling bad about my performance, it’s not something to dwell in, but something to appreciate because the best in me knows I can do better if I work on my strengthening my presence and the focus of my attention. So with that in mind, there’s really no reason to hesitate and pull back. No matter what happens, be present, take the best decision that’s available to your conscious, keep swimming and amor fati.

1. Things my Master assigned me:

1. (2h) Draft of TMSR OS dependencies page. Gales is a primary starting point for this. (AAC) Deadline Tuesday, Feb 4th.
2. Publish WoT ratings. Deadline Friday, February 7th.
3. (10h) Work through the fabled outlines article backlog. 2.3 is for sure feasible this week. 2.4 is going to be a big one. (Time Permitting)

2. Things I want feedback on/help with

1. Some reasons contributing to TMSR is +ev
2. Draft presentation for Feb 13-14th conference, “There is nothing new in the world apart from the history you don’t know” done this week.

3. anything else that takes up a significant amount of your time.

1. (10h) TMSR OS
1. Comments ((I’ve not made many comments and in fact have a backlog to reply. Change that this week.)) published upon reading/re-reading archives of The Tar Pit, BVT Trace, Krankendenken and Fixpoint.
2. Dorion Mode
1. I’ve been learning “Ode to Joy” on the harmonica. I’ma publish an article with the notes and a link to a recording by Wednesday.
2. An article about the deaths I dealt ((Don’t be too startled, these weren’t so so traumatic, but I’ve not dealt with it much in my life and think it’s good to write about it since it’s such a… serious aspect of life.)) with in December has been in my brain box, time to write and publish it by Thursday.
3. (15h) JWRD : 5h of management. 10h of relationship development.
4. (5h) Conference planning. Following up with invites.
5. (15h) Following the forum and conversing when it’s my time. I’m planning to block off 14:00-15:30 and 19:00-20:30 UTC to properly eat and engage the logs and blogs.
6. (7h) ((30 mins in morning, 30 mins before sleep)) Daily Review/Preview to start up, wind down day.
7. (2h) Weekly review/preview. Deadline Friday February 7th, 23:00 UTC ((These will be out prior to dark in Panama. This Friday night fantasy is ready to die.))
8. (5h 15m) 45 minutes of exercise each morning.
9. (5h 50m) 20 min Spanish, 30 min French each morning.

Summary

Continue the TMSR OS, JWRD, Dorion Mode integration while refining the meet people where they are approach to develop relationships and alternative streams of revenue. Consciously sacrifice negative habits and replace with positive. I got the morning writing done some of the days last week, but didn’t prosecute till published. Publish more this week.

This review tastes sour to write primarily because I let Dorion Mode stay silent since Sunday. “Dealing with Death, “Ode to Joy”, Simple Steps Part 3 and TMSR OS Dependency articles weren’t published. Writing that sentence delayed this review from being on time. I feel silly writing this, which I’m looking at as a signal that the next phase of growth is ready to kick in. While it was good to publish both the St. Vincent article and the TMSR OS January Statement last weekend, I think “the I won’t sleep until I finish this article”, a.k.a. emergency mode, resulted in a regression below the mean that resulted in the above delays. Now that I’ve allowed that to block me this week, including blocking not talking about it, again, until now, I have this permanent reminder to look at for discouragement of that negative pattern.

On encouraging the positive patterns, I did make some progress on drafting the articles I’d scheduled, but had many pots on the stove rather than cooking and serving one. Becoming more flexible with the services JWRD ought to offer to develop relationships is a major shift that’s already starting to show its upside. While we take pride in having a relatively strong understanding of Bitcoin, I can see how the narrow stance and business offering we have marketed has limited the relationships we’ve developed. Circling back to a couple valuable local contacts with a more open position has resulted in positive feedback. I expect dealing with the balance of maintaining the well informed, hardcore Bitcoin outlook and practice while meeting people where they are will take some time and practice to refine. Keeping my own development process in mind ((While also reminding myself that most people are probably going to take longer than I did.)) and using that knowledge to increase our public exposure and the number of people we talk to will be keys to growth.

I was feeling a bit nostalgic after writing the St. Vincent article and had a nice call with my old friend Ashe Tuesday, which was our first time speaking in about 8 months. It was good to talk. February comes from the Latin februo, “to purify through sacrifice,” which our Roman ancestors used for atonement. This February is the last of my twenties and I feel grateful to have the blog as a medium to reflect on the past and project towards the future and will take the opportunity to be conscious of sacrificing old, weak, negative patterns and replacing with the positivity of the present.