Young Hands Club

February 3, 2020

ejb review: week 6 (Jan 27 - Feb 2)

Filed under: Eric Benevides — Eric Benevides @ 2:36 a.m.

I'll be honest, I'm falling behind my own schedule here. My saltmine work really exploded during the last two weeks and it looks like it will only get more intense during the next few months1. I've been having to take work home with me too, this weekend was spent playing catch-up on saltmine work. I was not able to do anything TMSR related this week save for look into new hosters for MP's commissioned bot.

I need to refocus here and make some adjustments. But specifically how I go about doing that is just as important as knowing what needs to be done, so I will try to plan that out below.

As I see it, there are two main lacks in my life right now: a lack of control over my time, and a lack of control over my financial well-being. Honestly they are both pretty related, and as long as I do not have a handle on any of those things I doubt I will be able to contribute in any meaningful way to things that matter to me.

In terms of remedies to the above, I really need to be focusing more on getting a better saltmine job.2 I've been job searching on the side for the last 8 weeks but have not applied anywhere, and I will admit that I haven't been keeping track of things I find very well.3 I even promised a review of what I had found, but I have nothing organized right now; in other words my Master was right in that I cannot even claim that I put in those hours. So, the specific remedy here is that I will find at least two jobs per week and apply to them; and document who they were and what the jobs was, etc.

Related to my other lack (financial well-being) is the two-story elephant I'm typing this review from inside of; I need to get this goddamn house cleaned out and sell it. After moving my gf out of the house about 6 months ago I still have not touched a single box, cleared a single thing out of the house, cleaned up any bits of the yard etc. Meanwhile I'm still paying that inflated mortgage payment every while this cardboard house continues to age in the moist NC climate. I'm also quite isolated these days; my friends and family are hundreds of miles away and I rarely go out save for groceries or errands. I'm going slightly mad each day in this house. I need to start attacking this thing in pieces, so each week I will commit to something related to freeing myself from this anchor, be it simply "go through X amount of boxes in Y room".

Overall, this strategy where I blindly go full throttle into TMSR work on one leg has not been working out for me. I need to pull back a bit while I dedicate my time to more personal things; basically I'm still a bit of a child and need to grow up a tad before I'm ready to fully contribute.

So, I think I need to pull back a bit while I get my shit together. By "pull back" I mean that I will need to drop some TMSR work to focus on other TMSR work as well as my own shit. Specifically, I think I will not be able to contribute to the OS effort for some time; I simply don't have the time to invest in the remedial learning while maintaining everything else. Definitely not while I still owe Mircea Popescu that logger at least, and probably not when I still have long neglected maintenance on various infrastructure.

In summation, I'd like to drop my TMSR OS work and focus primarily on getting logger done, then other needed maintenance. I also still owe that last Penance article which I'd still like to publish. My remaining hours I would like to put towards getting my long neglected shits together.

(I will hold off on my weekly plan until I hear what Diana Coman says. Plus I am still thinking about it)

  1. They are also cracking down on working-from-home, which I would use in the past to catch-up during the week on TMSR work []
  2. Defined as one that 1) pays ~what I'm getting now and 2) allows me to work where and when I see fit as long as I get shit done []
  3. It hasn't been a very focused search- more like browsing indeed.com and such while in my cubicle at work. []

10 Comments »

  1. (I ended up posting mentioned article here instead of my blog because I found it fit better as my weekly review.)

    Comment by Eric Benevides — February 3, 2020 @ 4:10 a.m.

  2. Weren't you living in a flat ie not in the house? What's the trouble there exactly as I don't quite get it all: either go through the stuff or throw it out if you can't be bothered with it; put it on the market and sell it for whatever it sells; done. What exactly is keeping that part stuck?

    The exploding work from your job is potentially more trouble really because by the sounds of it you'll end up sucked into that entirely and, well, what is that going to do otherwise for you anyway? Wait it out until it "gets back" and lets you be? For that matter I guess you are then better off at least moving with them to Hong Kong or whatevers, get to use them as a push to get out of old places.

    Putting the OS work on hold seems like it will happen anyway so better make it explicit, sure. But I'd advise against fading away "to sort this out" otherwise - certainly sort it out and prioritise what must be done already but if anything increase the presence and accountability here because if anything, you seem to need more of it, not less. Put in that plan whatever you need done, it's your own plan so fully you, what. Don't slowly go insane in that house spinning on your own, do reach out instead and chip away of the trouble in as small bits as you need to make them so you tackle them.

    Take it day by day if need be, pick some things to do that *you* need done and do those first and foremost. For that matter, how's that waking up early working out?

    Comment by Diana Coman — February 3, 2020 @ 8:09 a.m.

  3. Weren't you living in a flat ie not in the house?

    I was living in a flat right after I dumped my ex (I moved out simply to get away from her for a spell). In other words for a few months I was paying both rent and a mortgage. Around November I was able to break the lease on the flat and ended up moving back into the house after gf moved out.

    What's the trouble there exactly as I don't quite get it all: either go through the stuff or throw it out if you can't be bothered with it; put it on the market and sell it for whatever it sells; done. What exactly is keeping that part stuck?

    Definitely not too complex, just very time-consuming. The issue is that I've been simply ignoring it for the last 6 months and I haven't done much of anything towards getting it ready to be sold (hell, I've even been neglecting basic shit like regular cleaning).

    But I'd advise against fading away "to sort this out" otherwise - certainly sort it out and prioritise what must be done already but if anything increase the presence and accountability here because if anything, you seem to need more of it, not less. Put in that plan whatever you need done, it's your own plan so fully you, what

    I have definitely seen what tends to happen to people who just fade away entirely, so I see your point here. I'll make sure to maintain my presence.

    For that matter, how's that waking up early working out?

    It started out well the first week, but I slipped back into old habits last week. Woke up earlier today though so I'll be aiming to snowball this back on track

    Comment by Eric Benevides — February 3, 2020 @ 11:51 p.m.

  4. Could have used that rent+mortgage as pressure to get rid of the house, instead of going back because less of an immediate effort (and who cares about the long-term losses, right?)

    At any rate, it's Tuesday already, make the list of things you have to do to finally get rid of that dead weight that some insist in calling "house", cross out what you did already this week (did you do any of those?) and then pick at it straight after you get back from work. Keep the mornings for tmsr work (mpwp or auction bot or whatever it is that is a priority now), use the evenings for sorting out your living quarters and always do those tasks *before* any saltmine work, no matter what.

    Re your "one leg", I meant to say: it's most likely precisely that detachment that you learnt and practiced for so long that you don't control it at all by the sounds of it (it rather kicks in simply, as a reflex more than anything else) and it's more like crippling you than helping you really. So ditch the *automated*/protection detachment bit by bit too, even if it comes with some meltdowns or similar on the way, it still has to go. Choose wisely what you do NOT detach from, no matter what, because myeah, that saying with "hang on for dear life" is not just empty words at times.

    Bringing all the above together, that house is currently your enemy so treat it as such and get rid of it with full speed.

    Comment by Diana Coman — February 4, 2020 @ 9:55 a.m.

  5. Could have used that rent+mortgage as pressure to get rid of the house, instead of going back because less of an immediate effort (and who cares about the long-term losses, right?)

    This was my original plan, but I ran out of time & money and decided to go back and regroup.

    Choose wisely what you do NOT detach from, no matter what, because myeah, that saying with "hang on for dear life" is not just empty words at times

    Yeah, those irrational attachments have plagued me in the past that is for sure, just as much as those automated detachments. I'll try and pay attention to this going forward.

    Regarding my plan, I think I want to take the day-by-day approach for a little while (possibly as comments in my weekly reviews.. I kinda like it all being in one place). Anyways, my primary goals for this week are securing a new host for the mpwp logger/bot and getting "bedroom A" clear. I have been inundated thus far with approaching work deadlines (One Thurs night and another Friday (I think..)), so I need to get some work done on that tonight.

    Tomorrow (Wed) morning I will aim to find at least 5 hosters to send emails to. When I get home I will spend at least an hour clearing out "bedroom A" (I expect I will be tired, so trying to be more realistic these days).

    Comment by Eric Benevides — February 5, 2020 @ 12:37 a.m.

  6. Comments in the weekly reviews is perfectly fine, go ahead, certainly.

    Re tired, do note that there are all sorts of tired and being exhausted from computer work doesn't mean you can't still do some cleaning or empty boxes and sort out through things. So just choose *some* task that anyway needs to be done, from the wide range available at all times.

    Comment by Diana Coman — February 5, 2020 @ 8:02 a.m.

  7. So today I woke up late; didn't get to do anything before saltmines. Though I still got those emails out and did some cleaning of bedroom A; I'ma chip away at that room tomorrow and Friday and then Saturday I want to tackle the garage (it'd make a good staging area for the remainder).

    The emails I sent were all to Malaysian hosters, so I will see if the automated-response-fest continues. In any case I'll find five in LATAM tomorrow to sling emails to.

    Comment by Eric Benevides — February 6, 2020 @ 4:53 a.m.

  8. Sounds good re emails, hosters and cleaning plans; not so good re waking up and you should make sure you stand a chance for that ie have a reasonable amount of sleep by that hour etc.

    Comment by Diana Coman — February 7, 2020 @ 7:57 a.m.

  9. Today was productive. I've started getting responses back from my emails and have been slowly trying to filter through them. Mainly I'm just looking for someone who is human; have yet to find anyone who will gpg over login credentials, but definitely finding some that are more human than others. Eventually I'll just need to pull the trigger on one of 'em, though so I am giving myself until EOD Monday for that.

    I got Bedroom A to where I want it, and now the garage is next up on my list. I'm setting my alarm early for tomorrow as well.

    Comment by Eric Benevides — February 8, 2020 @ 11:41 p.m.

  10. [...] Last week I decided to pull back a bit and just focus on some necessary things that I needed to get done in my life, such as cleaning and getting rid of my 'house'. In addition I sent out a slew of emails to various hosting providers in asia and latam. Seeing as some of the emails I sent out on Friday haven't been responded to yet, I'm going to give it until Wednesday EOD next week to pull the trigger (I'm gonna send out a few more during this time, as well). In any case, depending on how fast they provision the server I'll be focusing my day-by-day after Wed on either getting the prod server up and running (again) or if they end up taking their time I will try and get my auctionbot fix to the announce function complete. [...]

    Pingback by ejb review: week 7 (Feb 3 - Feb 9) « Young Hands Club — February 10, 2020 @ 2:24 a.m.

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