My subjective experience of this week, the first of my third decade and fifth of this new adventure, was of one heavy on the communications, especially in the longer written form, both with Robinson due to needing to move forward on work planning while he traveled, and with my Master through coaching on that process and a number of older topics returning to the foreground. Major threads included:
- Last week’s review;
- Hiking La India Dormida comments, where I crack one puzzle, fail another (which rather seems like it should have been obvious from the previous day’s thread), and provoke a dig in the archives (which unfortunately I’ve only skimmed so far but looks like it will be instructive);
- Decision making, roles of tech and management and communication between them;
- Initial analysis of my analysis, touching on proper handling of niggling thoughts, passivity, limits to considering things, getting out of a snippy phase quickly, and re-committing to reach and maintain a natural sleep schedule;
- More wallet planning and coaching thereon.
A recurring theme was my aversion to and lack of motivation in writing on the particular subject of myself. I’ve continued asking myself – “why?” Am I afraid of something? At this point I can’t see what that might be. Ashamed of something? Could be; I find some hesitation even in going to re-read things I wrote just a week ago. I remind myself that it’s a good thing to see flaws in my past: provided I see them specifically, it suggests I’m improving; but if I just look away, I clearly won’t learn much from them.
On communications, a small but important reminder was the basic courtesy of active acknowledgement, and of individual points for that matter. I’m noticing that this not only serves to put the other party at ease but can stimulate deeper consideration of the points yourself and further discussion.
In concrete outcomes, based on my plan I published five blog articles and installments; spent substantial time on discussion, though not as much as I’d have liked on background reading; worked out the pingback rescue ritual (though will need to re-run with sleeps because Trilema initially swatted some of the pingbacks for posting too fast); advanced the wallet discussion; and got in another two training sessions. Besides the plan, I confirmed my hotel booking in Uruguay as I hadn’t received the promised email; got my deedbot payments moving after a somewhat frustrating amount of back-and-forth; attended the Junto, made my requests for next year to my landlord and scheduled a visit for some minor work; and got a rather overdue (by my own tastes) haircut.
I noted at one point an interesting sensation of time having slowed down a bit: perhaps I’m managing to fit more in to the days, or the improved structuring and reflection on them is making them more individually noticeable.
As a closing anecdote that may shed light on the recovery from snippy-phase, I’ve started taking somewhat regular evening walks around the neighborhood, in part as a way to let off some steam when I might otherwise be tempted to lay about the apartment spinning. I’m quite enjoying it and a bit ashamed that I didn’t already have this habit, especially as a city dweller with so many potential spots to discover through exploration. On Wednesday or thereabouts, this brought out a particularly heated inner dialog:
“Huh, this is the first time in quite a while someone’s been on my case about quite so many things and on quite such a regular basis.”
“I don’t like it! I KNEW I wouldn’t!”
“Yet that’s why I needed it, and it’s exactly what I signed up for…”
At this point, I happened upon a leaky fire hydrant. Not gushing or anything, but sputtering vigorously. I wondered how long this had been ongoing. Had nobody noticed? Did nobody care? Intricately sourced, treated and delivered, drinkable water, ((it occurs to me I’m not certain if hydrant water comes from the same pipes…)) disappearing back into the earth without a trace. However small a sign (on a street that had been recently renovated even), the decay thread came instantly into focus.