Young Hands Club

November 18, 2019

JFW review, week of Nov 11 2019

Filed under: Jacob Welsh — Jacob Welsh @ 5:54 a.m.

This was a tough week. I think if I look back later I will find that it was positive and productive overall, but at the moment I find my thoughts more focused on the negatives.

Perhaps then I should start with the good parts. From my overloaded plan, I completed: six blog articles, on all the intended topics and then some; won some auctions and made most of the necessary travel arrangements to pick up the goods; worked out photo-blogging with MP-WP; and began explaining and listing the next stages of development on my offline Bitcoin wallet. Besides this was: continued progress on training development and delivery; my first substantial discussion in #trilema, on the nature of my own distribution and plans for a Republican OS; substantial review and feedback for Robinson on his big article on our business plan; getting signed delivery instructions as promised to an eager asciilifeform; and communicating my difficulty in paying an invoice, which to my knowledge remains awaiting update from trinque.

My articles were inconsistent in meeting the length requirement, and at first I was getting to them at the very end of the day or later. As my Master put it, "you clearly push those out of sight and out of mind and you'd push them out of the edge of the world if only it were flat enough to allow such a thing!"

When she asked when I would switch to mornings, an inner negotiation ensued between my avoidant and slavedriving parts (perhaps id and superego if there's utility in the Freudian terms):

"Eh, I'll do it some time soon..."
"But you gotta be specific and have deadlines to hold yourself accountable."
"Okay, next week then :P"
"But why can't it be done now?"
"It could, I just don't wanna."
"Well is that a good reason?"
"..."

So indeed I started the next day, and it's mostly been a pleasant change, though of course there's now worrying the evening before. It was good to see confirmation of what I had suspected, that "your writing problem is not with quantity but with topic and on tech you can and do write just fine". Specifically, it's the things that flow from a driving inner necessity to express them that come most readily.

The other failures were researching apartment options (again; at this point I think I'll just go ahead and see what the landlord has to say; I know I've already got a pretty good deal, there's a lot I appreciate about both the place and the management, and there's bigger priorities now), investigating undelivered pingbacks (again), and keeping up with ALL the reading in a timely manner at least at a first pass. Today's would-be blog article is also an embarassment; I said that I would apply the time toward a larger upcoming item on the wallet, but I now must admit that this didn't happen (exactly as my Master perhaps saw coming). And to state the obvious, these reviews are still getting pushed to the last minute.

4 Comments »

  1. "This was a tough week" - especially tough on your pride I suspect, hence the focus on negatives, yes :P

    Then again, what better birthday present than making it through a tough week and looking back on quite a few things done by the end of it?

    "when I would switch to mornings" - you know I quite expected you to come back to that with "next week" and I was ready to whack you one over the head for it! So I'd say your inner conversation there saved you some trouble really!

    "Specifically, it's the things that flow from a driving inner necessity to express them that come most readily."- yes, obviously; the question you fail to ask there though is *why* no inner necessity for expressing things that are otherwise quite obviously important and moreover important to *you*. You can't possibly argue with any sort of seriousness that something you took almost 1 month to decide on is "not important to me". I mean, if you feel like arguing that, go ahead, I'll have a good laugh.

    "exactly as my Master perhaps saw coming). And to state the obvious, these reviews are still getting pushed to the last minute." - yes and ...yes. Now you tell me: why are they pushed to the last minute?

    Comment by Diana Coman — November 18, 2019 @ 6:09 p.m.

  2. "especially tough on your pride I suspect" - makes sense, and hadn't quite occurred to me.

    "*why* no inner necessity for expressing things that are otherwise quite obviously important" - huh, that sounds like a question I've been failing to ask for quite a while. For example, Robinson told me how helpful he found journalling for understanding himself, but I never did pick it up, despite in principle being interested in understanding myself.

    A possibility that comes to mind is an over-emphasis on the destination relative to the journey; thoughts along the lines of "here's where I am, what does it matter how I got here?" or "there's where I need to be, I'll just do what I need to do to get there, why take time to talk about the process?" (You laughing yet?) Or is there another reason that you're seeing?

    "why are they pushed to the last minute?" - the above is all I've got here too; some notion that it's not the "real" work. And yet, I do enjoy seeing the results and haven't regretted spending the time. Need to start expanding that "why can't it be done now?" I reckon.

    Comment by Jacob Welsh — November 19, 2019 @ 8:31 a.m.

  3. "despite in principle being interested in understanding myself." - you obviously are, yes.

    "You laughing yet? " heh, just smiling a bit. I have a few suspicions there but given the distance over which I have to see them, I won't call them more than that for now.

    Re "real work", it actually popped up while reading your review above that you clearly tend to consider only concrete outputs to be "results" but if you go one step further and choose to cut out as "unimportant" history and process, you are being quite silly there, simply. And I somehow don't think you are otherwise silly at all, so there's more to it.

    Ask more pointed "why" on those multiple "don't wanna" - that's most likely the core.

    Comment by Diana Coman — November 19, 2019 @ 1:47 p.m.

  4. [...] Last week's review; [...]

    Pingback by JFW review, week of Nov 18 2019 « Young Hands Club — November 25, 2019 @ 5:24 a.m.

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