Young Hands Club

November 25, 2019

RMD plan, Nov 25th-Dec 1st

Filed under: Robinson Dorion — Robinson Dorion @ 4:57 am

This week will be a bit atypical again with Thanksgiving on Thursday and Thanksgiving weekend being the most effective time of the year to see long-time acquaintances and friends. Nevertheless, Internet and power will be much more stable and I’ll keep up much more effectively.

1. Things my Master assigned me:

  1. Reconcile differences between plans and execution. Deadline: Tues Nov 26th 12pm EST.
  2. Work with Jacob to move Gales Bitcoin Wallet process forward.
  3. Write article about what I appreciate about hunting with photos of last weekend. Deadline: Wed Nov 27th 12pm EST.
  4. Chew through articles in the fabled outlines queue.

2. Things I want feedback on/help with.

  1. The analysis of the planned schedule and actual schedule.
  2. I have yet a lot of previous feedback to adapt to and don’t want to ask for too much until I’ve enacted the feedback given.

3. anything else that takes up a significant amount of your time.

  1. (12h) JWRD : 5h of management. 7h of relationship development.
  2. (21h) Following the forum and conversing when it’s my time. I’m planning to block off 14:00-15:303 and 19:00-20:30 UTC to properly eat and engage the logs and blogs. Not sure if this is enough time, but think I need to work in blocks to maximize my focus.
  3. (7h)4 Daily Review/Preview to start up, wind down day.
  4. (3h) Weekly review/preview.
  5. (5h 15m) 45 minutes of exercise each morning.
  6. (5h 50m) 20 min Spanish6, 30 min French each morning.
  7. (5h) Tuesday 14:00-19:00 EST I drive to Albany to pick my sister from the airport.
  8. Thursday afternoon into the evening I’ll be occupied with Thanksgiving with family.

It’s an interesting balancing act between making the most of the progress we’ve made in the passed couple weeks and also making the most of my time here at my roots1. For sure time feels much more compressed so being present and mindful of priorities is what I need to focus on most this week.

  1. Which I mainly find opportunities to deepen self-knowledge and understand my past through I eyes I see today [↩]

RMD Review, Nov 18th-Nov 24th

Filed under: Robinson Dorion — Robinson Dorion @ 4:23 am

For sure this week was atypical, but I think I managed to roll with the punches reasonably well.

I was reasonably prepared for travel, which went smoothly until the final leg of Wednesday’s 3 flights was canceled from fog. The handling of this wrinkle was smooth and despite getting to the end of the road 4 hours later than expected, I had a 3 hr conversation and made a connection with a fellow traveler.

Thursday morning I caught up on sleep, went to the phone carrier for a prepaid SIM and bought a winter coat and packed for the hunting trip. Hunted Thursday afternoon and got connection set up at camp.

Friday I hunted the early morning and got back to camp at 1030 to work. After ~60 minutes, realized laptop wasn’t taking a charge from the the system. The electricity in this seasonal camp is solar, it had been a cloudy couple of days, their battery reserve was low and items such as water pump have priority over power outlets. Meanwhile, there was a wounded buck on the property so I went back out to join in the herd management efforts (photo article to come!).

I borrowed a touchscreen device to catch up with articles and make comments Saturday morning, then hunted the afternoon.

I can see my latency this week being a drag on Jacob and others. Perhaps I should’ve been more skeptical of the connectivity at the camp. Despite having reasonable expectations come up short, I think I managed clear communication about the highest priority of the week in helping Jacob manage the wallet development.

I know I have responses to pay from this past week and prior and pay those I will.

November 24, 2019

WH Plan For Week 7 (Nov 25th – Dec 1st)

Filed under: Will Haack — Will Haack @ 1:19 am

The daily schedule worked for me. I’ll continue with the format for this week.

1. Monday 11/25
   1.1 Order computer parts (2h)
   1.2 Saltmines (6h)

2. Tuesday 11/26

   2.1 Order computer parts (2h)
   2.2 Saltmines (6h)

3. Wednesday 11/27

   3.1 Saltmines (8h)

4. Thursday 11/28

   4.1 Review backup strategy / test blog recovery (4h)
   4.2 Complete An Outpost of Progress rough draft (4h)<
   4.3 Revise order list + make bank deposits for orders + try to open a CR bank account. (6h)

5. Friday 11/29

   5.1 Finish An Outpost of Progress post (3h)
   5.2 Follow up with ordering computer parts (2h)
   5.3 Read Trilema rereading article + Trilema article on the Odyssey + First 30 pages of The Odyssey (3h)
   5.4 Finish An Outpost of Progress Rough Draft (3h)

6. Saturday 11/30

   6.1 Review + Plan for next week (4h)
   6.2 Open Slot (4h)
   6.3 Meet Adam in the flesh!

7. Sunday 12/01

   7.1 Open Slot (4h)
   7.2 Review backup strategy / test blog recovery (4h)

November 23, 2019

WH Review of Week 6 (Nov 18th – Nov 24th)

Filed under: Will Haack — Will Haack @ 10:59 pm

Since I have been giving EOD reports this review will focus on “how I’ve changed” rather than “the flow of events.”

The week began with two stern conversations. The first conversation addressed my laziness and how I lied to myself and subsequently to diana_coman about the hours spent doing my hobbies. The line from the first conversation that hit me the hardest was the last one in this exchange:

whaack: diana_coman: as to laziness I know i should not be ‘that fucking lazy’ but I don’t see how it will click and my ‘real life’ of a man of discipline will begin
diana_coman: jfw: do you know by any chance if dorion is out with the fairies or something? he was meant to pong the pings but dunno if too much excitement lately or what.
jfw: Let me check.
diana_coman: whaack: hm, you know it but you don’t want it, lol.

I had the urge to respond, “no diana_coman, I do want it!” But I checked the impulse, because clearly if I both knew I had a problem and wanted to fix it, I would just…try to fix it.

The second conversation, ignited by my admission of doing halfhearted manual backups of my blog, discussed how I let ongoing problems continue. For example prior to a few days ago I had done nothing to follow up with my original plan of obtaining backup electricity and internet.

So the question is, why does my conscious understanding of the cost of my laziness not manifest itself into action? It’s because it remains just that – a conscious understanding – rather than a visceral disgust of my surroundings. I have it “good enough” to ignore my problems with my coconut water, glassy waves, beautiful sunsets et all.

But from Tuesday onwards I followed item number 4 in the pageboy’s pledge by trying to deeply imagine how I would act and feel if I were diana_coman in my situation. And through that exercise I became repulsed my surroundings. I noticed the dead light bulb, the holes left from the dismounted TV, the lack of a drying rack, the lack of coat hangers, the lack of hot water,1 the lack of sufficient hand towels. The list goes on and I will spare all the details.

The disgust I felt moved me to address the issues. Doing this gave me two pleasures, one expected and one surprising. The first expected pleasure was the relief/rewards of fixing ongoing problems. The second unexpected pleasure was the enjoyment of solving the puzzles the issues presented. Some issues are simple and left undone only because I don’t give them time. But many of them are complex and require tools as well as a serenity of mind2 to overcome. Coming to a solution via researching the general problem, figuring out the appropriate tools for the task, and using creativity to deal with the difficulties specific to your situation is immensely rewarding.

The disgust I now feel from lingering issues and the satisfaction I get from solving them has taken away my inclination to derp off throughout the week. I hope to god this sticks. As diana_coman said my problem is not that I have “leaks” (in a grand castle) but rather that I live in a mud and stick hut. So once I address all the problems I see around me – the problems specific to a person in a shack – I will have only free’d up time that needs to be used to get myself into a better position. In other words, my fix-it attitude cannot be something that I hold temporarily until my immediate problems are addressed. It needs to stay with me for the rest of my life.

  1. A common lack in CR, but that’s not a reason it should continue for me. [↩]

  2. To grapple effectually with even purely material problems requires more serenity of mind and more lofty courage than people generally imagine. No two beings could have been more unfitted for such a struggle. Society, not from any tenderness, but because of its strange needs, had taken care of those two men, forbidding them all independent thought, all initiative, all departure from routine; and forbidding it under pain of death. They could only live on condition of being machines. And now, released from the fostering care of men with pens behind the ears, or of men with gold lace on the sleeves, they were like those lifelong prisoners who, liberated after many years, do not know what use to make of their freedom. They did not know what use to make of their faculties, being both, through want of practice, incapable of independent thought.

    Joseph Conrad, An Outpost of Progress. [↩]

November 18, 2019

RMD plan, Nov 18th-Nov 24th

Filed under: Robinson Dorion — Robinson Dorion @ 2:58 am

This week will be a bit atypical, but productive nevertheless.

My main priorities are following up with any loose ends from last week’s various conversations to keep that momentum and making sure the launch of my ~6 weeks travel away from Panama are smooth. That’ll cover Monday and Tuesday.

I have a red eye departure Wednesday morning and am scheduled to land in my home town by 4pm EST. I plan to check in Wednesday evening to confirm arrival, settle in and recharge the batteries.

Thursday morning I’ll continue the settling and will hopefully have an article from the queue to publish, but at this point don’t know how productive I’ll be in airports and on flights.

Thursday noon EST I plan to make the ~40 minute drive to the farm I learned to kill on, get the afternoon deer hunt in and stay at the camp with my father and friends. I’ll hunt Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning1.

Shooting hours end at ~4pm each day and the camp has a modem, so I expect to keep up with the logs and blogs in the evenings in between card hands. When you’re in the woods you find yourself with a lot of time to think, so I’ll bring a notebook to make sure I capture my thoughts. I’ll be bringing my camera and for sure the hunting blog will be published2.

I expect getting back the breathing the cold, sitting and stalking the woods and hearing the silence will be quite the refreshing return to my roots3 and I’m committed to preventing any type of regression and ensuring that any step backward will be a set up for two steps forward the following week.

My review and plan will be published on Sunday and as a sneak peak for two weeks out, Monday the 25th I’ll be back to work, including meeting with a local prospect/referral source Monday evening. Tuesday the 26th and Wednesday morning the 27th will continue on the normal work path with Thanksgiving festivities starting Wednesday evening a being a full day affair Thursday. More details to fill out this sketch next week, sharing here to be as proactive as possible with what I know.

  1. Unless a shooting buck crosses my cross hairs and I have one hanging prior. [↩]
  2. Most likely early next week [↩]
  3. Maple Syrup is made in the spring when the sap retreats to the roots during the cold of the night and flows up the trunk when the days are warm enough. [↩]

RMD review, Nov 11th-Nov 17th

Filed under: Robinson Dorion — Robinson Dorion @ 2:12 am

The past week was one of my most eventful to date and likely one I’ll be remembering for quite some time. I’m honored to preserve the flow of events and how I changed on these pages, so lettuce recount.

Monday I set up some meetings with local contacts, chipped away at my article reviewing my 7 years living in Panama, supported Jacob in our session with clients in which they V pressed TRB and started their initial sync and supported Jacob in the analysis which resulted in him winning the No Such lAbs auction.

Tuesday I worked the meat-WoT over coffee, sat at the grown up table as Mircea Popescu qualified Gales Linux through conversation with Jacob, which exposed a few short comings both technically and managerially and shed light on a more productive way forward.

Wednesday, I awoke to announce the noon deadline I had set for my Panama article would be missed. This lead to a constructive conversation through which I came to realize that I was misusing the concept of buffer time for completing a task. Given my n00bish planing and writing skills, I’ll start doubling my initial estimates and work on erring on delivering well before deadlines rather than being constantly late.

I published Life on the Isthmus, 83 monts in. early Thursday morning1, which felt great to get out.

Thursday morning I woke up to comments to process and constructive feedback. It occurs to me rather than abiding points 1 and 4 of the Pageboy’s Pledge, I made a justification of the shortcomings of my writing which were exposed. While I noted them as shortcomings and stated my plan to work on them, I didn’t ask for help nor open myself up to the gifts of feedback received. I closed down instead of asking asking my Master and MP directly for advice or if there were other examples of dense points of interest that could use clarification2.

Thursday afternoon I supported Jacob in a session where clients learned about TRB node operation, in the evening I game planned Pizarro auction with Jacob and chipped away at publishing our business plan.

Friday morning, I chatted in Jacob’s ear from the outfield as he pitched through a relatively action packed Pizarro auction which resulted in him winning the lot of 18 FUCKGOATS. The afternoon and evening3 consisted of finishing the JWRD Business Plan.

It felt great to get published and the response Saturday morning was even more satisfying. Yeah, parts were torn to shreds, but what’dja expect when you signed up to have your betters help you kill your stupidtitty4 ? I’ve yet to crack the title puzzle, and I’m still very much at the beginning of walking down this path. With that being said, I reckon I’ve found my feet and substantial uncertainty previously residing in my dome piece has received its eviction notice and I’m quite excited to clean out that dead weight.

Better planning, better time keeping, better communication are all major ongoing improvement projects, but improved they will be.

  1. Missing the midnight #2 deadline. This time by ~4 hours. [↩]
  2. I’m not beating myself up or dwelling on this because I am committed to both improving my writing and opening myself up to the gift of feedback, but pointing it out to make sure it’s pointed out by me. Any beatings deserved I’ll welcome and use to improve. [↩]
  3. I didn’t publicly acknowledge and readjust the noon Friday deadline, I just continued to grind. That can’t happen again, man up and speak boy. [↩]
  4. Sugar & Spice and everything nice ? Hm ? [↩]

WH Plan for Week 6 (Nov 18th-Nov 24th)

Filed under: Will Haack — Will Haack @ 1:52 am

Note that the date window in the title is now only seven days inclusive, down from eight.1 This small detail is meant to represent a new era of my time management where I do not consider Sunday night an opportunity to finish leftover work for the week. In addition, per diana_coman’s advice, I will break this week’s task into daily chunks. The downside of this is that since this plan is more specific, it will need more alterations throughout the week. The upside is I am held accountable for any daily failings immediately.

Each day includes log reviewing as well as a little Spanish study, although these are not explicitly listed. Surfing and guitar are snipped out and are just treated as a reward upon completion of a good day of work.

1. Monday 11/18

  1. Saltmines (8h)2

2. Tuesday 11/19

  1. Travel to nearby town to pickup chair3
  2. Saltmines (8h)

3. Wednesday 11/20

  1. Read the man page of rsync and fix crontask so blog gets backed up locally. Write a sane backup strategy with corresponding scripts. (4h) The script that backs up the blog will contain an if-external-hard-drive-plugged-in-save-it-there-too clause. The script will also keep a saved copy of the wget of all younghands posts. (2hr)
  2. Saltmines (8h)
  3. Make the worthless pathfinder someone else’s problem (2h) Surfpal doesn’t seem to care about moving the car, perhaps because he understands its actual value.4
  4. Finish rough draft of first An Outpost of Progress article (2h)
  5. Begin list of computer part accessories and items needed from the hardware store. (2h)

  • 4. Thursday 11/21

    1. Continue list of computer part accessories and items needed from the hardware store. (3h)
    2. Make a trip to town. This includes grocery shopping, getting a cheap phone for backup internet via hotspotting, picking up test item from boxcorreos, and going to the hardware store. (5h)
    3. Finish my first An Outpost of Progress article (3h)

    5. Friday 11/22

    1. Order computer parts or plan trip to San Jose (4h)
    2. Read 40 pages of The Odyssey and read while taking notes on the two trilema articles. recommended by diana_coman (4h)
    3. Saltmines (4h)

    6. Saturday 11/23

    1. Write the week’s review + plan for next week
    2. TBD / 4 hour slot for making up a task
    3. Saltmines (4h)

    7. Sunday 11/24

    1. TBD / 4 hour slot for making up a task

    —

    1. i.e. Last week’s plan was Nov 11th – Nov 18th [↩]
    2. Only did 4 [↩]
    3. Mugui won’t deliver my chair to the door, and they don’t have an office. They gave me the personal number of the delivery guy, and I have to meet him on the road in a nearby county. [↩]
    4. I told surfpal I will fill it up with gas and drop it off where he likes. He hasn’t followed up with me and if he doesn’t I will focus on taking care of other shit first. But I would like to get it out of the way. [↩]

    November 17, 2019

    WH Review of Week 5 (Nov 11th – Nov 18th)

    Filed under: Will Haack — Will Haack @ 11:27 pm

    Note: this week’s review was written before I had this conversation with diana_coman. After our conversation, I only updated my draft with minor grammar and style edits. I believe diana_coman will find it interesting to read what was in my mind prior to having spoken with me.

    1. Foreward

    During this week I had positive output but the rate of my progress staggered. When I first joined Younghands I had a hope that my thumb twiddling would disappear completely. Previously, I’ve always had the excuse that what I was doing was not important. Now I am both working on what matters and experiencing internal growth. Even so, I still struggle to apply myself 100%. It is torture knowing what I am forgoing. I’m not sure how the cognitive dissonance manages to continue. I know what I should be doing1 but day after day I continue to make the same mistakes that stem from laziness and lack of character.

    When I sit down and focus, I get output. And I believe that output is improving, even if just slightly.2 That said, my ability to stay focused for longer stretches of time has hardly improved. And I am not reinvesting the time I gain from working more efficiently.3

    2. The events of the week

    This week started off with low effort put into my saltine’s job. I worked 15 out of the 20 hours I always aim for. I only lost 3 of my potential hours since the previous week I had put in 22 hours. But my subpar effort with my saltmines job was an example of the lack of discipline that carried into the week.

    On Wednesday I had set out to complete my article on the information I had learned from hanbot and begin a rough draft on An Outpost of Progress. I finished with only a rough draft of my hanbot advice article. I burnt time helping Richard get setup with irc. I am dubious about the benefit of that; he didn’t do quite a good job parsing messages he received in his conversation in #eulora.4 In any case, the work I did helping set him up on irc was avoidance behavior.

    On Thursday I had to do more saltines work; I finished around 4pm. I did not seize the rest of the hours I had available in the day. I tired myself out with an evening surf session and then did ~nothing for the rest of the night. Five minutes of solid work can produce something. I may have been able to produce an acceptable article for An Outpost of Progress this week if I had taken advantage of that time window.

    On Friday I was fairly productive. I finished my article on receiving handbot’s help and began working on my An Outpost of Progress article. I had planned to work into the night, but I instead socialized with my neighbors. It wasn’t wrong to spend time with them, the mistake was thinking I had time to work in the evening. Towards the start of the week I pretend I have all the time in the world and I work inefficiently. Then later there are “surprise” events that take me away from using my imagined time.

    On Saturday I made more of an effort, aware that I was behind on my schedule. I made distance in my An Outpost of Progress article, and I did a majority of the work researching and finding a list of computer parts for my machine. I read through the pages giving information on different computer parts on kitchentablecomputers and then selected compatible parts available on bestcomputersa.com.

    There were a few other areas where I was productive this week. I ordered my chair and followed up with the construction of my desk. I should have the chair by this Tuesday and the desk one week after that.5 My Spanish study is going well. I had more 2hr+ and 4hr+ conversations. I also am applying an effective reading routine. I turn off all my devices and I sit down with a Spanish book6 and dictionary. I read about a page and a half, circling the words I don’t know. Then I stop and look them up, which often includes also looking up the words in the definitions.7 I will do my best to bring more of these moments of structured work into next week.

    1. Or rather, what I should not be doing. [↩]
    2. Although I will let diana_coman be the judge of that; I have reached the level of DK where I am at least aware I don’t have the capabilities to properly asses myself. [↩]
    3. An example of a technique I learned that saves me time is taking a break before proofreading a blog article. Before I would spend many hours revising a piece and still end up with “word salads.” [↩]
    4. Richard seems to be a good hearted, interested individual, but I am dubious of whether he will put in the work he needs to to make any meaningful contribution. Perhaps he could do some loading screen or cover art for Eulora. [↩]
    5. The person I commissioned told me he would have it done by Thursday, but I am allowing five days for Tico time. [↩]
    6. Currently La Perla, a translation of The Pearl by John Steinbeck. I choose La Perla because it is a short story and one I have already read in English. In the future I will try to stick to original Spanish texts. [↩]
    7. I described this method for reading the courier websites. [↩]

    November 11, 2019

    RMD plan, Nov 11th-Nov15th

    Filed under: Robinson Dorion — Robinson Dorion @ 5:12 am

    As I failed to deliver multiple tasks last week, I’ve made the adjustment of stating deadlines for delivery.

    1. Things my Master assigned me:

    1. (8h) Article on my experience living in Panama, 71 months in. Deadline: Wednesday, November 13th, Noon EST
    2. (8h) Convert Latex source of JWRD business plan to blog article. Deadline: Friday, November 15th, Noon EST
    3. My series of posts adding meat to the bones of The Fabled Outlines.
      1. (1.5h) 2.1-2.2: Prospecting from Prospect Point : recollect the process and struggle of settling into the islands, the pleasure of making new friends and the refuge of sanity provided by calling the lead pool.
      2. (3h) 2.3.1-2.3.{3,9}: How many Banks in a Bank : describe the layers of asset custody and the layers of data custody of the bank’s infrastrucutre.
      3. (1.5h) 2.3.4-2.3.8: Learning to Work : Describe my n00bishness and how I worked through it with a good guide for the purpose.

    2. Things I want feedback on/help with.

    1. JWRD Computing Business Plan.

    3. anything else that takes up a significant amount of your time.

    1. (20h) JWRD : 3h of management. 11h1 of session preparation and delivery. 7h of local relationship development2.
    2. (21h) Following the forum and conversing when it’s my time. I’m planning to block off 14:00-15:303 and 19:00-20:30 UTC to properly eat and engage the logs and blogs. Not sure if this is enough time, but think I need to work in blocks to maximize my focus.
    3. (7h)4 Daily Review/Preview to start up, wind down day.
    4. (3h) Weekly review/preview.5
    5. (5h 15m) 45 minutes of exercise each morning.
    6. (5h 50m) 20 min Spanish6, 30 min French each morning7.
    7. (5h) Begin packing for travels, preparing to be away 6 wks. My departure flight is a red eye on Wednesday, November 20th. Goal is to be packed Sunday to provide plenty buffer.

    Summary

    The lists above mark out 88 hours + 49 hours of sleep make 137 hours allocated of the 1688, leaving 31 h. I’m satisfied with leaving it here, documenting how well the above estimations pan out in next weeks review and adjusting as needed. I’m looking forward to reviewing on Friday how well my discipline and rhythm improved with deadline imposition.

    1. 4 90 minute sessions + 2.5h of commute (walking) + 2.5h prep and review. [↩]
    2. Touch base with as many relationships as I can within the allotted time as this is my last full week in Panama for the calendar year. [↩]
    3. 9-10:30 local time [↩]
    4. 30 mins in morning, 30 mins before sleep [↩]
    5. Shift to publishing review by midnight UTC Saturday and plan by 15:00 UTC Saturday. [↩]
    6. With so many English speakers in Panama and English heavy work, gotta keep the gears greased. [↩]
    7. Currently halfway through Pimsler audio heavy with reading supplement course. Reaching out to French speakers locally. [↩]
    8. Shifting my reporting time means this number is off by 48 hours this week, but many of the estimation above are based on 7d week, so leaving as is this time. [↩]

    RMD review, Nov 4th-10th, 2019

    Filed under: Robinson Dorion — Robinson Dorion @ 4:26 am

    While my first week as a Young Hand was a bit rough, in this review I’m writing to land on my feet to set up a more productive week to come, abide the dorion-rule and not leave myself too black and blue and commit to whatever training I’m to carry out as directed by my Master for my own improvement.

    I allowed my blog to remain without the signal of new articles and made uninvited noise. Why did I allow this to happen ?

    In looking at my plan for the week, the first deficiency that calls my attention is while there are time estimates for several of the deliverables, there are no deadlines. Without a deadline for delivery, can it actually be said I made the decision to do the task ? My plan for the week to come will have deadlines to help structure my work and make my communications more reliable.

    While I made time estimates for the tasks I was assigned, I left the article on reflecting on my life in Panama after seven years and the publishing of the JWRD business plan without time estimates of their own. The Panama article was bumped up to top priority and I did make headway on the outline, but unpublished outlines aren’t articles.

    I outlayed unplanned time and energy on my Saturday trip with Jacob and friends to El Valle de Anton. When I wrote the plan for last week, I thought we’d be making that trip the 16th, but learned Tuesday the 5th it had to be this Saturday if it were to happen at all this calendar year. I ought to have communicated the original plan in my article last week since I communicated further dated plans there anyways. As I build this habit, I see more reliable short term communications growing into more reliable long term coordination.

    I spent further unplanned time considering the swatting of a teeny-tiny-little-bitty-baby fly ‘just wanting’ to embody Iago. While the unplanned time outlay kept me from focusing on delivering my assigned tasks from last week, it was a test through which I learned about myself and deepened my commitment to my improvement through working myself into shape here1. At the end, laughs were had.

    As noted last week, the liquidation of S.NSA was quite a bit for me to process. Some questions had come to mind that I’d not seen asked and appeared to me as blind spots. I assumed asking certain questions would bring the blind spots into view. After being permitted to proceed, I started gathering references to support the cause of my questions and further apparent blind spots occurred to me to point out; these latter seemingly more evident2 than those I’d planned to inquire about, but in hindsight were probably more charged3.

    I paid a cost for my old habit of staying in the shadows in that much of the response I received was communicated on the assumption that I wasn’t aware of the history. Upon conversation and reflection, by the end I ‘just wanted’ what I think are blind spots to be seen, was frustrated that they weren’t and wasn’t able to relax the urge to issue a judgment I’d not earned. I’d stayed in the shadows out of fear of making a douchebag of myself, as I’d seen countless others do, then essentially projected what I was previously trying to avoiding in my first week. I take heart in accepting that the backs and forths are the nature of growth and very much appreciate the conversations I was gifted in the afterglow, which seem to support a path to realization through socialization.

    JWRD work progressed. I followed the forum relatively well working within the time I allotted, but am aware there remains some scar tissue to work through to improve my efficiency and lower my latency. I was consistent with my daily previews and reviews, which is helping the integration from day to day. I was also consistent with exercising my body and language skills and have shored up my travel plans.

    I will take my own advice in the weeks to come and write to start each morning to build that skill.

    On the review and planning process, I am shifting to organize myself to publish the weekly review on Friday evening and plan for the week on Saturday mornings.

    1. My evaluator was identified to be weak from the onset. [↩]
    2. It does not escape my notice that while I talked to him about planning, my plans were not prosecuted. So help me my own intelligence and cursed be my own stupidity that is holding me back. [↩]
    3. The originals were about Stanislav himself or things he’d said; those asked were about S.NSA and the business he was soliciting from S.MG. I quoted MP on several occasions and given the current state, I can see why it’d be hard for him to hear. [↩]
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