Note: this week’s review was written before I had this conversation with diana_coman. After our conversation, I only updated my draft with minor grammar and style edits. I believe diana_coman will find it interesting to read what was in my mind prior to having spoken with me.
1. Foreward
During this week I had positive output but the rate of my progress staggered. When I first joined Younghands I had a hope that my thumb twiddling would disappear completely. Previously, I’ve always had the excuse that what I was doing was not important. Now I am both working on what matters and experiencing internal growth. Even so, I still struggle to apply myself 100%. It is torture knowing what I am forgoing. I’m not sure how the cognitive dissonance manages to continue. I know what I should be doing ((Or rather, what I should not be doing.)) but day after day I continue to make the same mistakes that stem from laziness and lack of character.
When I sit down and focus, I get output. And I believe that output is improving, even if just slightly. ((Although I will let diana_coman be the judge of that; I have reached the level of DK where I am at least aware I don’t have the capabilities to properly asses myself.)) That said, my ability to stay focused for longer stretches of time has hardly improved. And I am not reinvesting the time I gain from working more efficiently. ((An example of a technique I learned that saves me time is taking a break before proofreading a blog article. Before I would spend many hours revising a piece and still end up with “word salads.”))
2. The events of the week
This week started off with low effort put into my saltine’s job. I worked 15 out of the 20 hours I always aim for. I only lost 3 of my potential hours since the previous week I had put in 22 hours. But my subpar effort with my saltmines job was an example of the lack of discipline that carried into the week.
On Wednesday I had set out to complete my article on the information I had learned from hanbot and begin a rough draft on An Outpost of Progress. I finished with only a rough draft of my hanbot advice article. I burnt time helping Richard get setup with irc. I am dubious about the benefit of that; he didn’t do quite a good job parsing messages he received in his conversation in #eulora. ((Richard seems to be a good hearted, interested individual, but I am dubious of whether he will put in the work he needs to to make any meaningful contribution. Perhaps he could do some loading screen or cover art for Eulora.)) In any case, the work I did helping set him up on irc was avoidance behavior.
On Thursday I had to do more saltines work; I finished around 4pm. I did not seize the rest of the hours I had available in the day. I tired myself out with an evening surf session and then did ~nothing for the rest of the night. Five minutes of solid work can produce something. I may have been able to produce an acceptable article for An Outpost of Progress this week if I had taken advantage of that time window.
On Friday I was fairly productive. I finished my article on receiving handbot’s help and began working on my An Outpost of Progress article. I had planned to work into the night, but I instead socialized with my neighbors. It wasn’t wrong to spend time with them, the mistake was thinking I had time to work in the evening. Towards the start of the week I pretend I have all the time in the world and I work inefficiently. Then later there are “surprise” events that take me away from using my imagined time.
On Saturday I made more of an effort, aware that I was behind on my schedule. I made distance in my An Outpost of Progress article, and I did a majority of the work researching and finding a list of computer parts for my machine. I read through the pages giving information on different computer parts on kitchentablecomputers and then selected compatible parts available on bestcomputersa.com.
There were a few other areas where I was productive this week. I ordered my chair and followed up with the construction of my desk. I should have the chair by this Tuesday and the desk one week after that. ((The person I commissioned told me he would have it done by Thursday, but I am allowing five days for Tico time.)) My Spanish study is going well. I had more 2hr+ and 4hr+ conversations. I also am applying an effective reading routine. I turn off all my devices and I sit down with a Spanish book ((Currently La Perla, a translation of The Pearl by John Steinbeck. I choose La Perla because it is a short story and one I have already read in English. In the future I will try to stick to original Spanish texts.)) and dictionary. I read about a page and a half, circling the words I don’t know. Then I stop and look them up, which often includes also looking up the words in the definitions. (( I described this method for reading the courier websites.)) I will do my best to bring more of these moments of structured work into next week.
Change – or rather permanent change as opposed to just temporary/flickering change- takes time too! Don’t expect it overnight really, it’s not just a sort of switch on/off and that’s it. It’s certainly good you took the time to write this down and I’m glad you do see yourself quite clearly at that. Just ask for help when you need it and in clear, that’s after all the whole idea – maybe re-read that pageboy’s pledge and its starting sentence there?
Re time you spent setting Richard up – it will likely not come to anything for/from him but you shouldn’t count it as wasted time either. You helped him to where things are and that’s all, the rest is up to him.
There is clearly some specific avoidance with that Outpost of Progress – each time you notice this sort of thing, you should help yourself to *not* give in to it. Again, ask for help if you need it, say where/what got you stuck, just don’t let it go on until I pick it up from/by the results. Hopefully the convo gave you now some concrete measures to help there and in general but do speak up at any time, that’s what the chan is for, all right?
Comment by Diana Coman — November 18, 2019 @ 5:17 pm
>Change – or rather permanent change as opposed to just temporary/flickering change- takes time too! Don’t expect it overnight really, it’s not just a sort of switch on/off and that’s it. It’s certainly good you took the time to write this down and I’m glad you do see yourself quite clearly at that. Just ask for help when you need it and in clear, that’s after all the whole idea – maybe re-read that pageboy’s pledge and its starting sentence there?
It was a good exercise to read the pageboy’s pledge again. The errors I’ve made recently are from me deviating from the pledge. It is short enough that it’s worth committing to memory word for word.
>Re time you spent setting Richard up – it will likely not come to anything for/from him but you shouldn’t count it as wasted time either. You helped him to where things are and that’s all, the rest is up to him.
Alright
>There is clearly some specific avoidance with that Outpost of Progress – each time you notice this sort of thing, you should help yourself to *not* give in to it. Again, ask for help if you need it, say where/what got you stuck, just don’t let it go on until I pick it up from/by the results. Hopefully the convo gave you now some concrete measures to help there and in general but do speak up at any time, that’s what the chan is for, all right?
Yes I will do my best to charge into what makes me uncomfortable and announce when I’m stuck before the problems that arise from being stuck announce on my behalf.
Comment by Will Haack — November 19, 2019 @ 4:16 am